You know those days where your head is spinning, you feel like you can’t focus, you haven’t slept in…oh awhile and you are pretty sure that your last drip of sanity…just dripped onto the floor!
Well, if this is you today…Welcome to my world!!! We are in this day together!!! 🙂
I have been in a weird mood lately. I have been, in my mind, super negative about lots of things. Things have been annoying me and bugging me, that usually I am able to look past. When my husband says something, I hear it as an insult or negative, when really he was just making a comment…not meaning anything by it.
I read into things that normally I wouldn’t even give a second thought.
Road Rage…well lets just say, people driving in their cars…have been driving me crazy! Usually, I don’t let this get to me, but lately I feel like I have noticed everything!
Have you noticed a bit of a trend here….everyone and everything…has been annoying ME. Clearly, it is everyone and everything else’s fault…Right?
In the midst of all this Crazy McCrazerson, the word ‘Perspective’ has popped into my head numerous times.
Each time, I kind of quietly tell it to Shut up! Lol.
I mean, when I am feeling rushed…my child just pooped his pants after I FINALLY got him dressed, my dog wants to go outside AGAIN, my oldest child is throwing a fit because he doesn’t understand why we can’t “live at Lego world” instead of our house and my youngest is almost impossible to get into his car seat…Perspective is NOT what I want to think about!
I want to whine and complain and feel sorry for myself. I want to see everyone around me thinking, Oh poor girl…here is a cup of coffee and a donut. Go sit down and wallow in your pity for a bit…you deserve it!
I want to feel bad for the fact that my house is a mess and I have to clean it up; instead of living like a celebrity and having someone else do it for me!
I want to sulk in misery about the fact that if I don’t cook dinner, no one else will. I have to cook and clean up!
My life is miserable and I don’t want to think any differently!
Yes, this has been my train wreck of thoughts lately!
Now, if you have read this far…I have to give you credit! By now, you have to be thinking…Put your big-girl-panties on and Hush!
You are warranted in this though, if it is what you are thinking! This is all very petty and quite frankly…Life!
Why would it be enough to bring a person down or make them think life is so bad, when really NONE of this is a big deal!
Well, this brings me to the word I have been trying to avoid…Perspective!
This is one word, that can hold a lot of power. It is also a word that can be used very powerfully against us, if we allow it to be.
I have been asking God – Why is everything so hard? Why am I so in the dumps and not able to just be perky and happy? Why do I feel like everything around me is collapsing and I can’t get a grip to save my life?
Why? WHy? WHY?
Have you ever been here?
Where everything just seems to be covered by a dark cloud and the cloud just will not move on?
Well, if you have…maybe this next part will speak to you as it does me.
Weather is like our moods…it varies in degree and can change in an instant. Some days, we are happy; other days we are sad. Some days we are productive and fruitful, other days we are angry and destructive.
Everyday, day-by-day…our attitudes/moods, just like the weather…vary.
Like the weather, our attitude and our moods – play a big part in our lives.
I have blindly and selfishly allowed the negativity to fill my heart and mind the last few weeks. I chose to think of it as anxiety, stress, lack of exercise, a busy schedule…the list goes on and on.
I have blamed it on everything…but myself.
Today, as my kiddos were fighting in the back seat…the snippety word Perspective pretty much slapped me in the face…via my thoughts.
I am sitting there wanting to SCREAM and all of a sudden I looked in my rear view mirror and saw my boys.
Yes, they were screaming and whining and not displaying cuteness…right now; but this morning when we woke up and they were hugging and kissing me, telling me they love me…That was precious.
When they were rubbing my head last night and kissing my forehead (because I had a headache and they were my doctor)…this was precious!
When they sat on the couch and hugged each other and said…”my brother is the best”!!! Priceless!
When they spilled their OJ but apologized and said “Mommy can I help you clean it up”? These are the moments…the moments that make life PRICELESS!
What is sad, is that often…we allow ourselves to miss these moments, over look them or lessen their value. We instead, focus on the crazy or allow ourselves to selfishly fall into the pity party of negativity.
Today, in bible study, Beth Moore was speaking (a recording) and she said…sometimes we experience Spiritual depression. She then expressed the thought that was laid on her heart: What if our Spiritual depression, comes from Oppression? What if Satan tries to make us feel our punishment, for something he wants us to do….before we even do it?
Now, if that last question confused you and you are wondering…what is she talking about, stick with me.
Have you ever felt as though you were in a dark place, a negative place and you are not sure why?
You feel as though, obviously you have done something…to get here…but you are not sure what.
This is the spot I am talking about.
Satan wants us to feel discouraged, he wants us to be blind to all of the blessings and positivity we have in our lives. Satan wants us to feel worthless, powerless and defeated. This is his GOAL!
Guess what folks…I don’t know about you, but I can be a pretty easy target.
When I allow myself to step out of Gods word, out of his protection…Satan notices…and BOOM he will hit!
When Beth said this today, it made me think really hard. It also made me want to put the palm of my hand to my forehead and yell DUH!
Because guess what…I have been in this place! I am in this place! God has been hinting to me that I am here, but I have been telling him to Shush! At the same time, I have been praying to him to help me get out!
Um, yeah…a bit of a circle of crazy; that I blindly fell into and blindly kept running in.
This whole time, I have feared that maybe I messed up. Maybe I did something wrong and for some reason, the happiness and joy I had been feeling was gone.
I prayed that he would allow me out of this funk, but yet I closed my heart to his whispers.
If I choose to find the negative, I will find the negative.
If I choose to find the positive, I will find the positive.
My child pooped his pants, just after I finally got him dressed…where is the positive?
Well, he did it before we left…so I had everything we needed right here in the convenience of home.
My youngest wants to live at Lego Land…well he has had the chance to experience the place and loved it! He has memories that we have created there and he wants to go back!
My youngest fights to the end, getting in his car seat…well he is strong-willed, this could certainly be a good thing down the road! Right now I have the task of teaching him how to use it for good!
Just as the weather varies…so does life and so does our attitude.
If we think about it though, we crave the spring in the middle of winter and the winter in the middle of summer. We always want something just a little different from what we have.
At the end of the day, if we think about it, our “Bad” days…make our “Good” days seem even better.
If we only had good, positive, exciting days…we would never appreciate the good.
Yes, I have a messy house and will have to get up and clean it. Yes, my husband drives me crazy sometimes and Yes, my children often make me question my sanity…but I wouldn’t trade one of these things.
I have a house – to clean.
I have a husband – I love and who loves me.
I have kiddos – to make me feel insane (but also to make me feel super loved).
I have to make dinner – I have food to cook!
I seldom get a full nights sleep – but I have a bed so when I do…it is a great sleep.
I have friends, a church, an amazing family and SO much to be thankful for!
So, today, I am choosing to focus on my Perspective. I am going to try really hard to see the positive in the small things as well as the big.
It is refreshing when you turn the page of negativity and find the page of positivity!
Don’t let Satan cloud your mind. Experience the clouds, but let them part so you can experience the Sun.
There is a saying – Someone else is praying for what you already have.
It is humbling and a bit painful when you realized how selfish you have allowed yourself to be. At the same time, we are human and so blessed by God’s Grace.
I encourage you to take just a moment…a brief moment and just think about all of the Good things, Amazing things and Wonderful things you have in your life!
It is funny how even a super-grumpy-mood can easily be reversed when you think of your kiddo’s smile, your husbands kiss and the unending love of your Father above.
If you have made it this far, I applaud you! 🙂
This post falls into the “verbal diarrhea” category, but I can’t help but think – we have all been here and sometimes we need a little dose of – changing our perspective!
Have a great and blessed day!